Chapter 13
Chapter thirteen is the chapter where Asher’s decided to draw the crucifixion of his mother. He draws her torn between him and his father. "I split my mother’s head into balance segments, one looking at me, one looking at my father, one looking upward. The torment, the tearing anguish I felt in her, I put into her mouth, into the twisting curve of her head, the arching of her slight body, the clenching of her small fists, the taut downward pointing of her thin legs." When I read that description, I knew this painting would cause a lot of harm emotionally in a lot of people. Asher’s feelings about the painting paralleled his mother’s feelings. He was also torn between the fact that he shouldn’t be painting it, but the need to get it out of his system and letting his feelings flow. He didn’t mean to be disrespectful to anybody, especially nit his mother, but he had too much anguish to get out and this was the only way he could get it out.
When Anna took the two paintings away, he knew nothing good could come of it, so he starts to weep. He’s absolutely helpless as to what he could do at that point. He knew people were going to get hurt, people that he loved deeply.
If he had just stopped after drawing the first one, people wouldn’t have been hurt so much. But he knew he couldn’t be an artistic whore. He couldn’t lie to himself and be a fraud, he had no choice but to draw the second one. The first one wasn’t compete without it. It’s like a sequel to a book or a movie, the first is good as it is, but id doesn’t fill the mold until the second one comes in.
Anna tells him that and Jacob Kahn tells him that and a lot of artists say the same thing. He still feels guilty about painting it and feels a need to destroy it, but he also has a need to make it public, to show the entire world. So he chooses the latter, but I know there will be harsh consequences. People are going to talk, people are not going to be happy when they see it.